My conversation with Oprah


Waking up at 5:30am to a 3lb ball of adorable fur begging to go outside isn’t a normal thing for me. Betsy, my  toy yorkie usually sleeps late but not this time. I’m up so I follow her down the hall and open the door. 30 seconds later she’s done and asleep on my bed. Me, not so much. I’m awake and my brain is too. I start to filter through all the things I could be doing if I would just get up and get on with it but instead I just lay in bed. Then I start thinking about abortion. Sorry for the lack of transition but my thoughts don’t transition well at 5:30 am. They are fragmented and sometimes rapid fire until I ignore them and fall back asleep. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about abortion. This is too heavy for 5:30am but I can’t get away from it. 


Ok, so now I’m not only thinking about abortion but now I’m imagining that I’m sitting on the Oprah show discussing it with her, (the one that isn’t on anymore)  and I promise it feels real. I was there as a guest on the show standing up for the unborn. I’m a Christian, a mother of 3, and I’ve had very civil back and forth conversations with friends who don’t  agree with me but I haven’t been an pro life activist in real life. Not yet anyway. 


So here I am sitting on imaginary set with another guest on the show who is a radical pro choice activist and… Oprah! 


The conversation starts pretty civilly, with Oprah raising the question, Isn’t it important to give women a choice? Don’t they have a right to when they want to have children? What about  protecting the life of the mother? What if she’s a young, 13 year old girl who has been raped? Why should she have to deal with this horrifying experience and have no choice whether or not she wants to have a child of rape?” ( the imaginary audience claps in agreement.) 


Now my imaginary conversation is getting more real. I need to have answers. And I think I do. I say to Oprah,

“Women do have a choice. Most of the abortions performed today are not because of rape or protecting the life of the mother. Every one of these situations are  tragic and I can’t imagine what I would do if faced with these difficult scenarios. But we can’t ignore the real numbers that tell us abortions happen more for convenience.” This argument isn’t working with Oprah and she asks an even harder question. “What about the children who are abused for years by their parents?  If they been aborted they wouldn’t have lived through the horror of child abuse!”


My thoughts switch over to a story I read recently about a mom of 3 who kept her oldest son in a closet on a concrete floor and starved him. Her other 2 children lived right outside the closet where their brother was dying but they had been threatened by their mother not to tell anyone. She told family and friends when they asked where he was that she sent him to Mexico to live with family. What’s wrong with this woman?! How could someone be so psychotic? The little boy had sores all over his body from weeks of laying on a stone floor. He was 37 lbs when he died!! How could this be?!! Maybe Oprah’s right! Maybe the pro choice people have a point. Maybe there are some children who would be better off dead!  After all, they would be in heaven with Jesus and wouldn’t have to sustain horrible abuse or a lifetime of poverty with no hope! 


Now I start thinking I should write all of this down. No, let me try and go to sleep. I should be able to remember this when I wake up later. I’ll write it down then. Wait a minute..(more rapid fire thoughts) I’m talking to Oprah again.

“So you’re saying that the little boy would have been better off to have never been given life? This is a hard one. I would never want any child to be abused. But are these the choices? Aborted vs locked in a closet, starved, beaten..better off dead. Maybe abortion would have been more humane. Now I’m praying. God, what’s the answer? More thoughts come to my mind. Each one seem to get  clearer than the last. I’m back on Oprah’s imaginary set. I’m talking now but I have to hurry because 1. The segments are so short and 2. I don’t want to get cut off or talked over because I’m worried I won’t get to make my point. “Oprah, we’re talking about 2 different things! Abortion is a different issue than child abuse. They have to be dealt with separately. They can’t be compared because at one of them gives the chance for life!” I say passionately.  


Oprah doesn’t seem convinced and begins speaking directly to me, “So you’re saying that we should outlaw abortion and then what do we do about all of these abused or unwanted children? If you’re  pro life, you should be pro life for people who are living too! Abortion is terrible but what about the children, the people in poverty, the destitute that are living now? What about them? Is abortion a more important issue than getting people out of poverty?” 


Wow, this conversation is getting heavy.  I think I’ll just go to sleep and revisit this in real life tomorrow. More thoughts.

“Oprah, I get what you’re saying, I have a lot of friends who I greatly admire who have made the same arguments. Yes, of course we should be pro life for everyone! But let’s think about this for a minute. Let’s go back to the eleven-year-old boy murdered by his mother. There were social workers and government officials assigned to that family. There had been reports of child abuse for years. Where were they? They didn’t do their job! They could have intervened and saved him! They failed!! That little boy deserved better! He didn’t deserve to be tortured!”

The other guest interrupts me and says, “See! This is why his mother should have the choice to have an abortion! This is why people like you don’t get it. You want to take away the rights of….”

I jump in, “no I DO get it.” His mother DID have a choice. She chose to have her baby. The issue is not abortion in this case. His mother was mentally incapable of raising children. She needed psychological help. She obviously didn’t get it. Yes, it sounds like this boy would have been better off dead before he was born. Better off to have never lived. What is the answer? How do we fix this? Oprah, I’ve watched your show for years and I’ve seen shows you’ve done about suicide prevention. I’ve seen you plead with people to see the value of their lives. I’ve heard you tell them that they are here for a reason and they have purpose.”


PURPOSE!! That’s a massive word!! What does it mean? Do the aborted children have purpose?  Do their teenage mothers even really understand the enormous concept of purpose before they make the decision to end their pregnancies?  What is purpose? It’s the thing we were designed to do, to be, it’s our  calling. 

Oprah, I know you believe in purpose. How can it be that we as a nation decided that over 53 million people have no purpose? The way they were conceived was either too tragic or inconvenient so they were wiped out before they were given a chance. No life. No purpose. We made that decision. How did we decide that God’s purpose is irrelevant if things are too hard? God can’t fix this one! It’s too big so I’m going to put an end to this difficult problem. Could it be that you’re ending the life of a child whose purpose may have been to solve a problem? Why are we choosing a convenient fix to a problem instead of focusing on the purpose? Would you say to someone who is suicidal that if their situation is too difficult that they should end their lives? Who would NOT try and save someone who is standing on a bridge getting ready to jump?  Our savior instincts kick in! We want to save, to rescue!! Abortion is killing our natural God given nature to save and rescue! We’re accepting the problem instead of stepping into our purpose! We’re here to be used by God to fix impossible situations! Our purpose as human beings is to help others who need help, and be the hands and feet of Jesus to people who have hit on hard times. It’s our purpose to be an answer to the questions we face in this world! When did abortion become more important than purpose? Aren’t we playing God? As Christ followers we sing, shout and preach that God is able to do the impossible. He can turn a mess into a miracle! But do we really believe that? Can God help a young pregnant woman who is scared to death and thinks her only option is abortion? What will happen if she decides to give her baby life and honor Gods ultimate purpose for that babies life?  Why aren’t we as Christ followers waking up to the barbarism of abortion and pleading with God to make us the answer? Why aren’t we saying, “God use me to be someone’s miracle” and experience the privilege of being the answer and displaying Gods glory in the earth! We sing,” God show me Your glory.”  We are Gods glory on the earth!”


David Wilkerson writes, “The apostle Paul understood well the purpose and effect of seeing the glory of God. He saw it as power to change the beholder — to revolutionize the life of every follower of Christ. “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass [mirror] the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18).


Paul is telling us, “Once you get this revelation of God’s glory  of his love, mercy, grace, long-suffering and readiness to forgive — the Holy Spirit will continually open your eyes to more of these aspects of his nature and character.”


Paul then says in an even stronger tone: “That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints” (Ephesians 1:17-18). The hope of HIS calling!! There it is! There is a hope! There is a calling! We are transformed by God’s glory not to accept the plight of this world we live in, but to be the answer!!  


So often we think that the problem is too big and we can’t fix it, so these babies are better off never to have been born, so then it becomes easy to think maybe that’s true, there’s no solution, I have my own problems anyway and honestly I shouldn’t be too judgmental because if a woman wants to have an abortion, she should be able to have one because she knows what’s best for her and she has every right to make decisions for her own life and who am I to tell her what she can and can’t do with her own body?!! ” Wow, ok calm down Martha. You’re getting too worked up over this and you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. This is big and you are only one person. Maybe it is. Maybe I am. But then I found this.


Charles Finney a great theologian said, “Many a time, I should have given up all for lost and sat down in despair, had it not been for such a revelation of God’s glory, as to strengthen me for the work I had to accomplish. Always, yes always, when I have gone to God, as Moses did, with the prayer, ‘Show me thy glory,’ He has never denied me, never, never.”


If God calls us to do something, it can be done. God will give us what we need to fulfill His purpose. Nothing is impossible! Nothing!! We must fight for the lives of the unborn who are helpless and can’t defend themselves. We must do whatever we can for the hurting, broken and those in need. We can’t give up! We have to keep praying and giving and reaching out to hurting people. They are all around us. They pass us in church and they sit next to us in school. They are secretly hurting. There are kingdom assignments all around us and daily purposes for us to fulfill if we just look for them. Whew..I’ve been writing for 2 hours. I’m tired but I’m energized. I just had a thought to look up the statistics on What?!!  Florida, the state I live in ranks in the top 3 of the highest number of reported abortions. I had no idea.


Ok, so now I can’t see imaginary Oprah anymore. I hope she could imaginary see my point.  When we ask God, “Show me your glory”, we are asking Him to show us who He is so He can tell us who we are. We are fixers. Healers. Miracle workers. Problem solvers. Every single one of us. We all have a purpose. Born or unborn. Are you living yours? 

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2 Responses to My conversation with Oprah

  1. Tayo says:

    Dear Martha,
    Thank you for writing such an honest post about abortion and human choices.
    This is one of the most heartbreaking topics when the individual circumstances that add up to the statistics are considered. Every right we want to exercise also carries a responsibility.

    Reading the Bible teaches us that God has given human beings free will, which means we can choose, from our choices flow consequences. Knowing our purpose, and being determined to live it out, influences the decisions/choices we make as individuals. As each person makes a choice, that choice will impact someone else’s life positively or negatively. The consequences that flow from each choice can manifest immediately and/or in the future.


    Thanks — this was awesome.

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